


Oh, Grey Warden

by CaptainDeryn



Series: Wardens of Thedas [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Multiple Wardens (Dragon Age), Spoilers, grey warden death, non author canon, warden sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDeryn/pseuds/CaptainDeryn
Summary: There was only one way the Blight was going to end. One life couldn’t be worth all those in Thedas, and what’s the forfeit of a life already tainted?





	Oh, Grey Warden

For fourteen years the only path Ruinel had seen was the one the Circle put in front of her. Learn, hone her magic so she wasn’t a threat, pass her Harrowing and take her places among the mages in the Circle. There hadn’t been anything beyond that or anything before. 

Being conscripted into the Grey Wardens had sent her world crumbling down around her, the suffocating fear of the unknown almost mirroring the blind terror she had felt when she had been torn from her family, her Dalish clan at the first sign of her magic. 

Finding Laurel had been a bright spot, the one thing that kept her fear of the Blight from drowning her. Then meeting Leliana, finding love with the red-haired human had given her another reason to believe that maybe, just maybe there was something on the other side of the darkspawn hoards. For some time it was enough, having her sister at her side after so many years, having found someone to love and weather the darkness with. 

Then the full force of the Blight hit her, the horrors of a world marred by violence and terror. Fourteen years in the Circle Tower above Lake Calenhad had left her unaccustomed to the world around her and it swept over her like a tidal wave, pulling her into its swirling depths until she couldn’t breathe. 

Then she had found herself talking to Morrigan, finding her drawn to the darker arts and their whispers of protection. For herself, for her _family_ , for everyone around her. Sinking into a lyrium fueled dreamscape to save a little boy, surrounded by the ever-shifting Fade and the whispers of a demon had been enough to break her.

For a while, she had been able to hide the cracks until even those became too much to keep together, shattered in shadows dancing and killing the night and the flash of a knife in her hand. 

Now all that stood between her and the end of the darkness was an archdemon. It snaked in front of them, darkness crackling around it and ashes sweeping around with each massive breath, each roar as its eyes fixed on the two wardens and their companions. Its claws tore at the stone beneath its feet and the cast of the fires burning below robing it in the shadows that had haunted the wardens’ every step. 

Ruinel let the hand not clenched white-knuckle around her staff curling into Orion’s ruff. The mabari pressed his flank against her leg, growl rumbling through his entire body. All the darkspawn they had fought through…all leading to _this_. This massive creature, covered in thick scales and spines. Untouchable. 

Brows knitting, Ruinel saw the Warden Riordan’s crumpled form, his words echoing in her ears. _Only a Grey Warden can kill the archdemon_. 

If Riordan had failed…

Ruinel took a deep breath, loosening her grip on her staff. 

_“If it comes down to it, let me be the one to deliver the final blow.” Ruinel glanced quickly over at Laurel before dropping her eyes again to the old, dusty book she was running her fingers over.  
_

_Laurel opened her mouth, then closed it before she spoke. “Absolutely not.”  
_

_“_ Laurel _, it has to be a warden, you heard Riordan. If he fails…” She huffed out a breath. “Well, it makes the most sense.” She turned to face her sister, giving a small shrug. “I don’t have a place here. I’m an elf, but not Dalish. Not anymore. And I’m a mage, and a…a blood mage at that, I’ll never be trusted and I can’t go back to the Circle, not after everything.”  She left the words crying that she hated what she had let the Blight do to her, hated that she had become everything she hadn’t wanted to be as a mage, hated herself for it, unsaid and burning in her throat.  
_

_“Your place can be with the wardens, with_ me, _with_ Leliana _.” Laurel took a step forward, eyes wide and voice pleading. “Please, Ru, I don’t want to lose my sister to that.._ thing. _I don’t want to lose you again_.” 

Her shoulder brushed against Laurel’s, the older elf tearing her eyes from the writhing dragon to meet Ruinel’s determined look. Her other hand dropped from her mabari’s ruff to move in a motion the hound had learned as _stay_.

_She had brought it up once more as it continued to chew away at her mind. It was met by the same resolute refusal.  
_

_“Ru,_ stop _, I’m not letting that happen. Morrigan’s offer–”  
_

_“We already know Alistair refused, that’s out of the question.” Ruinel crossed her arms, a little bit of irritation seeping into her voice. Neither of them had been able to speak to Alistair any more on the topic of Morrigan’s offer after his refusal and while Ruinel could understand his reluctance she couldn’t understand putting aside what could be a failsafe for their final fight for selfish reasons. “But…” With a sigh she relented. “I won’t do it. Okay?”  
_

_“Thank you.” Laurel’s sigh as one of relief, the shake in her voice undeniable. “If the archdemon…” She let the words hang and with a shake of her head covered the distance between them and hugged Ru tightly. “Please don’t let me lose you to this.”  
_

_Ruinel let her anxious thoughts slide from her mind like water between her fingers, closing her eyes against the fear she had seen in Laurel’s eyes. “I won’t_.” 

Now…

Now there was no choice. Every _what if_ , every nightmare behind closed eyelids had come to pass, staring back at her from behind dark, soulless eyes. 

How many lives would be lost if the Blight continued? What was one broken promise and a life tainted by the Blight itself and blood magic alike when compared to those thousands, tens of thousands? 

A glint of metal caught her eye, a sword laying on the ground, just outside of the archdemons reach. The dragon itself was wounded, dark blood oozing between its scales. Her spells might not harm it but if she was quick…

Her staff clattered to the ground, thoughts slowing to a string of commands forcing her herself to move, to act. 

With little more than a sharp breath, exhaled into what might have been _I’m sorry_ , Ruinel forced her feet into motion, pushing past her sister and running across the stone. 

The sword was heavy in her hands, the tip skittering across the floor as struggled to lift. The archdemon lifted its head, it’s deep roar shaking through her chest. It sent a tremor through her body as she drove the sword across the dragon’s underbelly. In the few precious seconds that it staggered, shrieking and casting about wildly with its tail, its claws, Ruinel pivoted and drove the sword through the dragon’s neck, putting all her strength behind the blow. The dragon’s wail reached a crescendo, mixing with Ruinel’s ragged scream as her vision went white. 

It burned, it scorched and she wanted to let go, oh _Creators_ she wanted to let go but her fingers wouldn’t loosen, her body wasn’t her own.

What

Had

She

Done?

* * *

“Ruinel!” Laurel made a desperate grab for Ruinel as she took off running, her fingertips just grazing her arm. “Ruinel, no!” She ran after her, cries from her companions falling on deaf ears. 

A blinding flash of white light forced her to a half, her forearm rushing up to cover her eyes, stumbling back several steps. Over the rush of her heartbeat in her ears, the wail of the dragon twined with an agonized scream and Laurel cried out for Ru again, pushing her eyes open and legs forward against the blinding light.

Sudden silence wrapped around her like a blanket, the light dimming for only a second before exploding out. With it came a burst of energy that through her from her feet, her shoulder colliding with the ground. 

Even behind her eyelids the silhouette of Ruinel trying to pull herself from the dragon burned.

Before her eyes had fully cleared or she was able to draw in at least half a breath again she was on her feet, shaky and unsteady. Her eyes drifted over the body of the archdemon, its massive form crumpled to the ground, unmoving. Her breath hitched, a small _no_ falling in its absence, her legs already moving as her eyes fixed on a smaller form thrown away from the dragon. 

Ruinel lay on her side, curled in on herself. A gentle hand, trembling, turned her onto her back, tentatively reaching out to feel for a pulse. 

“Ru, Ru you told me you’d be okay.” Her voice broke. “You told me you wouldn’t do it.” 

There was nothing, nothing beneath her fingertips and nothing where there should have been breath. 

A sob bubbling in her chest, Laurel gathered Ruinel into her arms, as if pulling her close away from the ground would fix everything. Her hands slipped on the dragons blood–or was it Ru’s?–slicking her tunic and the sob broke free from her, tears gathering in her eyes. “ _Please_ breathe, _please_.” 

Her plea was met with empty air and she shattered. 

Ruinel’s mabari was the first to reach her, snuffling first at Laurel’s tearstained cheek before reaching out to sniff Ru with a low whine. The humans always said that mabari were too smart for their own good, smart enough to talk but choose not to. 

The mabari sank to the ground with a whimper. 

“Dareth shiral asa’ma’lin.” The words felt like knives as she spoke them, hitting at the end in a protesting wail as someone, perhaps Wynne, tried to gently pull her back. She wrapped her arms tighter around Ruinel, “Ir abelas, _ir abelas_.” falling her lips rapidly, over and over to fill the silence. 

A year.   
It took a year to find her sister, a year for the Blight to break her, use her, and a year to to lose her all over again.

“Ir abelas, asa’ma’lin.” And she let herself be pulled away.

**Author's Note:**

> *Dareth shiral asa’ma’lin= farewell sister, most often used as “safe journey”
> 
> **ir abelas= I’m sorry
> 
> This was written prior to me adding warden Cousland to the group, where canonically the dark ritual is completed and everyone survives. This is just a really, really sad au. 
> 
> Find more about Ruinel on my tumblr (captainderyn) !


End file.
